According to the Dan Murphy’s website, this alcohol “is made to be enjoyed by everyone”. I don’t quite know why you would need to put that in a review of alcohol. I mean, did they do it cos Savanna Dry is exported from South Africa? Is it a race thing? Is it a political thing? Is it a Oscar Pistorius thing? I don’t understand…
Anyway, Savanna Dry is fucking delicious! As someone who regularly partakes in sweeter ciders, this was a refreshing (GET IT!?) change. There is still a pleasant, subtle sweet after taste, which compliments that dry and crisp flavour. This goes very well with washing down a disappointing frozen diet meal. 9/10. Now someone go and buy me some more, quick.
It came as quite a shock to see that not only had I ordered the above meal, but that I didn’t throw it out. As I stood in front of the microwave in the shared kitchen at my workplace, I knew that I had a crucial decision to make; eat this “meal” and review for the good of all of humanity, or spend $2 on a packet of Twisties.
I’m not a huge fan of pasta bakes in general, basically because it’s all a bit too heavy and rich. So having a pasta bake meal as part of a diet meal plan just seemed fucking weird. I’m sure it’s a meal that is specifically tailored to fellow fatty-fat-fats who actually regularly enjoy pasta bakes (i.e. who enjoy the vague taste of melted cheese and mush). I am just not one of those said fatty-fat-fats. I love my carb-heavy-mush, just usually in the form of KFC or McDonalds. You know, quality binge-food.
So, the top photo is taken directly from the website, and the bottom photo is the actual meal that you will get. Needless to say, I was sceptical of whether this meal would taste of anything, and also kind of hoping to contract food poisoning so I could get out of work for a few days. I mean, just look at those two large bits of grey-chunks on both the far right and left of the above picture. That’s meant to be chicken. And I know, from my own personal cooking experience, that chicken thigh can sometimes just come out cooked and looking….odd…. but still. I was concerned that said meat wasn’t from a chicken, is all I am saying.
To my surprise, the pasta was perfectly al dente and the broccoli had a lovely crispness to it (something I rarely achieve myself from the reheating leftovers process, even if I barely cook the broccoli. However, that might just mean that there is some evil-preservative-cooking process being used, but whatever. Motherfucking vegetable was crisp). However, the chicken was incredibly dry, and like many of these meals, oddly shaped. There’s usually one enormous piece of meat, with tiny (size of ten cent piece tiny) other bits floating around the meal. The “creamy cheese sauce” was yellow and stringy and fucking weird. There was also an overpowering saltiness throughout the entire meal, which I guess was there to counter-balance the general blandness of the meal (and pasta bakes in general).
Overall, not as horrible as I initially thought, but still pretty fucking gross. 4/10.